The ESTJ Personality type from the Myers Briggs Personality type indicator is a rule and protocol following personality with an orientation towards detail. They have Extroverted, Sensing, Thinking and Judging traits which means they make decisions based on their past experiences and work well with others. A relationship with an ESTJ can be difficult at times due to their by the book personality. Let’s look at how ESTJ relationships work.
ESTJ Relationships: Romantic, Parental and Platonic
ESTJs are people who do not like to change. Although that can be a red flag for most people, their straightforwardness and honesty more than makes up for their flexibility. However, their refusal to change does not mean they don’t value their relationships, it just means they are highly opinionated and change only when there is sufficient evidence for them to take that step.
That being said, they approach parenting, romantical and platonic relationships with the same approach. They are long term people and they like to stick to their plans throughout the relationship. If their partner is accepting of their approach, they are bound to be in a relationship that lasts long.
ESTJs In Romantic Relationships
ESTJs, despite being extroverted, appreciate routine in their lives and relationships. They want things going according to their plan, from dates to anniversaries and so on. Their dominating nature can be a bit much from time to time but they always mean well for their partners.
ESTJs in romantic relationships like structure and tradition. That is why, you will find everything in their home to be organized. They will have a hard time showing love and intimacy to their partners but that doesn’t mean it’s absent.
ESTJs desire partners who value their work and their effort. They also need someone they can rely on when it gets tough. However, the only major challenge with them is their inflexibility and domineering nature. This can be a lot for someone who is free spirited and spontaneous.
ESTJs As Parents
ESTJs set high expectations of their children which insight conflict down the line. But that is only because they want their children to succeed. Although, this can be taken to extremes. Since most ESTJs are honest and independent, their kids grow up to be the same. There is always an off chance that the kids end up being rebellious just because of this behavior.
Since ESTJs are rule followers and by the book folks, it can be difficult for their children to follow in their footsteps or appease them, especially in their teenage years. ESTJs will have problems with their children during their teenage due to their inflexibility and stubborn nature. To navigate these issues, clear communication should be the top priotity.
ESTJs In Friendships
Friendships are everything for ESTJs as their outgoing personality makes it easy for them to invite people and engage with them in different activities. They are honest and empathetic which makes them reliable friends. They love hanging out with their group and they often take charge when planning things out.
They might not be flexible but are willing to try everything should they receive loyalty and honesty in return. It can be bad idea for an ESTJ not have a person with a different viewpoint than theirs in the long run. This gives them a way to view the world differently.
These are how ESTJ relationships work in the real world. You can expect ESTJs to be loyal and supportive, granted you do not try anything that violates who they are. To know about the strengths and weaknesses of an ESTJ, click here.
Check out the Encyclopedia of Personalities page for more on an ESTJ.