Quite recently, my mom had an epilepsy episode and was rushed to the hospital, it freaked me out. I thought the world was ending. It has been only a couple of days since then at the time of writing but I have been overstruck with grief, anxiety, and depression about my dear mother’s condition. Because I was so vulnerable, I had to learn how to cope with grief in a healthy way.
I understand how this might be nothing in comparison to losing someone you loved but the feeling of grief is the same. Grief is the most difficult to deal with because it paralyzes you. You can’t think properly and nothing feels right. You feel like getting out of it and move onto better things but the clock doesn’t seem to tick.
The best thing to do then is to let it out. Do not let the hole in your chest get bigger. It will lead to a ton of problems down the line. Grief isn’t just mourning a loved one’s condition or loss. It is continuously and unendingly thinking about one single event or moment in time when the pain started. You are so fixated on it that you can’t focus on anything otherwise.
Understanding The 5 Stages of Grief
Before we learn how to cope with grief, we must understand its five stages. Those stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Know that they are not chronological for most people, one can experience all of these at once or one at a time depending on the day.
- Denial: This includes you trying to carry out your day in a manner as if nothing happened. Trying to ensure that the grief you possess doesn’t get to you. This is especially prevalent if you have been raised in a household that neglects mental health issues. You feel numb and don’t want to carry out basic human functions.
- Anger: You feel angry at the person or even yourself for being in this circumstance. You feel like crying but the tears won’t come out. In this stage it is better to meditate and let your thoughts flow.
- Bargaining: This is when you talk to yourself or even a god that you believe in to stop the bad things from happening, making a deal so that things don’t go sideways. So you don’t feel the way you are feeling right now. Some magical thinking can help you get your mind off of your grief.
- Depression: The feeling of grief often leads to depression. Intense and painful sadness is common. You will get loss of appetite and an intense feeling inside your chest. Only time can help you through it.
- Acceptance: As time passes, you get used to how you feel and every stage is manageable. You still care about or miss the person who has suffered but you learn to live without it.
How To Deal With Grief In A Healthy Way
Grief is difficult to cope with because it can hit you out of nowhere and stay with you. However, there are things you can do to cope with the feeling and even forget about it, healthily for a given amount of time.
Participate in Social Gatherings
I know most of the times you won’t want to participate in such gatherings but being around people can help you forget about the grief inside you. However, talking to people and seeing their bright sides will help you deal with it.
Spend Time With Your Loved Ones
Our loved ones are going to be the biggest support group in this time. Confide in them, keep them closer and love them so that you do not feel the emptiness surrounding the incident or the loss that you feel.
Accept Your Emotions
Know that it is okay for you to feel this way and this feeling will pass sometime in the future. Cry if you must because it is important to let it out. Do not “move on” before you are ready to. Healing comes in accepting the things that have happened and coming to terms with what happened.
Seek Help
Seeking help from support groups and therapists might feel like a cliche option or might even embarrassing at some point. But do seek professional help because it will help you organize your thoughts and come to term with all of your emotions.
Do The Things You Love
Doing the things you love can help you take your mind off of the grief that weighs heavy on your heart right now. It does not have to be something productive or anything, it has to be something that you love doing regardless of the circumstance. Travel, play games, read books or do anything that you please that can help you get your mind off of it.
Coping with grief is different for everyone. People carry grief of loss wherever they go but partaking in different social situations, doing things that you like and seeking help are some things that can help you cope with grief you possess.
The Takeaway
I understand how doing the above things can suck the life out of you but it is necessary for you to do. Keep in mind that moving on from the feeling of grief does not mean abandoning the memory of the loved one, it is to give yourself the freedom to live life while keeping their memory alive in your heart.
It is difficult to move on but doing it in a healthy way is the key to recovering from grief. Remember, time heals everything, let it pass.