We all have been deprived of love and cheated on at some point in our lives. It is a traumatic experience that some people have difficulty recovering from. You will feel worse about yourself and loathe everything around you to no fault of your own. Let us discuss what can help you feel better and how you can stop overthinking after being cheated on.
20 Ways to Stop Overthinking After Being Cheated On
Distracting yourself can help in the short term and maybe that is exactly what you need right now but if you start peering inside and see what went wrong and pinpoint it, it can help you get some closure. Keep in mind, there is nothing wrong with you if you get cheated on, you are allowed to feel things.
There are a myriad of activities you can do to ensure that you do not feel alone or unwanted. Find one activity, or several, and commit to them daily. Remember, healing takes time.
Allow Yourself to Feel
Most people try to suppress their emotions and be tough. Pretending to be fine can only make things worse than they already are. Only when you allow yourself to feel the weight of it will you have the strength to heal from it. Do not dampen your anger. Feel all your emotions, drop the baggage. It will only harm you later on.
Find the Reason Behind Your Overthinking
Finding the reason behind your overthinking can help you solve it much faster. Sometimes, it is trust issues, sometimes you are catastrophizing a problem and sometimes your mind is filled with voices. If you can find the reason why your are overthinking, then you can try to solve it.
Be Kind to Yourself
To no fault of our own, we start to self sabotage or stop caring about how we think about ourselves during these situations. Practice self-compassion. Instead of fighting yourself when overthinking, befriend that side of yourself and listen to it fully. Be kinder to yourself so that you can recognize that it takes time to heal from this painful experience.
Rely on Social Support
Instead of being lonely, why not go to your friend’s house or to a café where people know you? The social interaction will not distract you but also build confidence and allow you to feel things genuinely again. It is important that you remember that you are not alone when facing this problem.
Challenge Your Thinking
Challenging your thinking might be difficult given that it is difficult to get lost in thought. However, when you are overthinking, notice a stray thought and see if it has any credibility? Are these thoughts the result of your catastrophizing or are they actual facts. Distinguishing facts from fiction can help you from sinking deeper into the hole.
Practice Self Care
Self Care is different for everyone. For some it is working out and for others can be baking. By taking care of yourself, you will live in the moment and not focus on the past and the future. In this list, we will list different ways you can practice self care which might help.
Be Mindful
Mindfulness is one of the best antidotes for most of the problems you have in life. That is why, practicing mindfulness is an effective way to counter your thoughts. It can help you categorize your thoughts, reduce stress, anxiety and emotional distress. Slow down, write things down and meditate to start being mindful.
Change Your Environment
Go to a new cafe or a place where you can forget about your past and start anew. A change of pace can help with your thoughts. It can also build healthier coping mechanisms. People move to a new city or take a vacation, all of it depends on the things you can do.
Know/Build Up Your Self Worth
It is important to know what you are worth despite your mind telling you otherwise. Mindfulness and meditation can help with knowing your self worth. However, to build it up, you can start by being positive about your future and working for it in your present.
‘What Ifs’ are Bull****
What Ifs are some of the most tempting and harmful questions you can ask yourself. It can lead to self-sabotage in more ways than one. These thoughts can lead to a spiral of fake scenarios. Therefore, when they occur, counter with a positive affirmation or a “then I’ll” statement.
For Example, “What if this relationship with my partner ends?”
The Answer ” I’ll see what I can do, I will take my time and move on, heal from it and look forward to new beginnings.”
Journal
Journaling is a great way for you to get rid of all those thoughts that cloud your head with worry. It can also let you develop mindfulness. When you write down all of your thoughts and feelings that pop up inside your mind, it can help you take a load off of the emotional spiral.
Distract Yourself
Continuously scrolling on Instagram is not the answer to your problems or a healthy distraction. Distract yourself by going out, working on yourself, reading self-help books, working on your goals and more. They can not only distract you but also lead you to a better spot in life.
Make a New Routine
Abandoning the old and making a new routine can help you shed old baggage and start anew. It can be a proverbial new beginning that you are looking for and need. Work for your future, make new friends, build up new hobbies, anything that diverts from the old routine you followed.
Build Some Empathy
Empathy does not mean you excused the fact that they cheated on you, it simply means that you are the bigger person and see your partner as human, imperfect and capable of making mistakes. Most of all, empathy can help you move forward and be a better person by the end of it.
Start Creating
Have you heard of the saying that,” The most beautiful art is made by the most broken people?” Well, when you start creating things out of the feelings in your heart, you can not only change yourself but the world as well. It can not only help you find an outlet but people will know and love you because of your craft down the line.
Go Out With Your Friends
Your friends are the most important part of this long road as they will help you deal with your heartbreak, the emotional bursts and more things that come up. They can handle anything from crying to making you feel better.
Set Boundaries
If you want to spend time thinking and need to be left alone with your thoughts, it is a good time to relay the same to your partner. Most partners will try to reel you back into the relationship but do not budge, you have to get yourself out of there and perhaps into a new mindset about this broken relationship.
RELAX
Take a big pause on everything ranging from your relationship, routines and your day job if possible. Just one day, sometimes, is all it takes to recapture your life. Relax the whole day and spend it by caring for your self. Eat comfort food, watch a good movie, listen to good music and then invite your friends over, it might seem counter-intuitive, but it is one of the best things you can do.
Seek Professional Help
Professional help is the most common thing to seek for people/married couples who have gone through infidelity cases. A marriage counselor or a therapist are the most likely options for you to consider after being cheated on because someone who does not think about this situation actively and is outside of it can be a good thing for you.
These professionals can also be a catalyst for your recovery.
Get Closure
Seek details into why this happened, get the full story. It can not only help you process the situation. After that, it is for the best that you close off the relationship with that person. Sure it will hurt you a lot but it will be a lot better for you in the grand scheme of things.
Effects of Being Cheated On
Being cheated on can have lots of nasty effects on a person. It can lead to emotional distress, spirals, catastrophizing and distrust of other individuals. Overthinking can lead to you to worse things that will harm you in the long run. That is why, we recommend combating this situation as soon as possible.
People with already established mental health issues are the ones who suffer the most. People with these problems are the ones who suffer the most in these cases.
- OCD
- Anxiety
- PTSD
- Depression
FAQs
Let us discuss some frequently asked questions people think about after being cheated on. Let us look at them.
1) Does the Pain of Being Cheated On Go Away
Yes, in due time it does if you are willing to work on yourself. It is possible for you to be better and stronger after such a case. It requires effort, but if your pain is fresh, the best thing you can do is comfort yourself and spend time with your friends.
2) Why Do People Cheat?
People cheat because they are insecure about their own place in the relationship. They have a lack of self-control and a narcissistic desire to keep pursuing other people. Cheating can also be a sign of unhealed trauma, addiction and more.
Although, cheating does not always happen because love is absent which is the most infuriating part.
3) How Do I Stop Being Insecure after Being Cheated On?
Some things you can do to stop feeling insecure after being cheated are reassessing your relationship, practicing mindfulness, journaling and caring for yourself. Follow the tips listed above to find solace.
4) How to Recover Mentally after Being Cheated On?
Accepting the situation, be honest about your feelings and have the conversation. Build the relationship up again or break it off for good, the choice is yours, it can be a good place to start.
The Verdict
Being cheated on is an ordeal that is going to take time and effort to heal. Know that in any case, it is not your fault. You were just a victim of circumstance and you can recover from it. Trust yourself, be the bigger person and forgive if you can, because through forgiving the imperfect person, you will find closure and peace.