What Is A Restrained Introvert? Here’s Everything You Need To Know

Do you find yourself actively avoiding social situations? Well, you are an Introvert at heart if so. But when it comes to interactions, a restrained introvert is quite different. They are enigmas and may appear to be shy, but are just not interested in small talk.

Let’s go through everything you need to know about restrained introverts, from their meaning and origin to signs that you are one yourself.

What is a Restrained Introvert?

A Restrained/ Inhibited Introvert has the fundamental characteristics of an Introvert. They do not want to be involved in social circumstances and prefer to stay back. They have a thoughtful demeanor, a preference for solitude, introspection, and a craving for a deeper connection. However, the catch is that they CAN interact with people whenever they want to. They’re not necessarily shy, they just don’t pursue it.

They analyze their peers, surroundings and then take a cautious approach. This implies that they are more reserved and want their interactions to be meaningful rather than just small talk. They are more observant of their company and surroundings.

Origins of the Restrained Introvert

The term Restrained Introvert was coined by psychologist Dr. Laurie Helgoe in her book, “Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength.” Same as Quiet, her book highlights how Introverts face problems in a world that has idealized the Extroverted Ideal.

Dr. Laurie Helgoe encourages the Restrained Introvert to pursue these unique traits and build on them rather than reject them completely and join the Extroverted Ideal. She mentions in the book that Introverts like these have a heightened capacity to feel empathy and be more creative. She urges these introverts to harness this power and use it to face the world which prefers an extroverted individual.

Factors That Make a Restrained Introvert

Several factors indicate that you are a Restrained Introvert. Let us look at some of them in detail below.

• Inherent Temperament: A lot of people exhibit introverted tendencies from a young age. They might not like social interactions, prefer isolation and being introspective. This is the foundation of a restrained introvert.
• Family Influences: This factor massively shapes the forming of a restrained personality archetype. Family values that teach deeper connections, empathy, thoughtfulness, and selective interaction can greatly affect the creation of a restrained introvert.
• Early Experiences: Another major factor, Early Experiences, most likely traumatic are often responsible for the creation of an introvert that prefers selective social interaction. They might be cautious, restrained, and more reserved in social interactions going forward.
• Curiosity: Curiosity can indirectly lead to introversion. A desire to be creative, make something and understand the world can lead to an individual being so busy in their daily lives that might not have the time to be social. This can lead to hobbies such as reading, making art, drawing, or writing.

8 Signs That You Are a Restrained Introvert

Let us quickly list some signs indicating that you might be a restrained introvert.

1. You listen more: You prefer listening over speaking. At first, you absorb, then analyze then present your opinions.
2. You prefer Quality Company: Quality over Quantity. You have limited friends but they are ones you can rely on and have meaningful conversations with.
3. You HATE Small Talk: You avoid small talk at all costs. You’d rather talk about the cosmos, philosophy, psychology, the human experience, and much deeper things.
4. Heightened Creativity: You have creative hobbies and you are engaged in them most of the time. Music, art, and writing are just some of the things you like.
5. More Empathy: Your empathetic nature and understanding of emotions help you forge deeper bonds than anyone else in your circle.
6. Balance between Restraint and Expression: You only open up to people you have a bond with. Otherwise, you are restrained and prefer to talk and express less.
7. Introspection: You prefer to look deeper into yourself rather than spend time in the outside world. You frequently take time out to introspect, analyze, absorb, and process information, and experiences that boost your personal growth.
8. Tactful Decision-Making: Due to your absorbent nature, you spend a lot of time logically thinking about a decision. You take time to conclude by weighing options, analyzing outcomes, and then choosing the one that aligns with your goals.

Strengths of a Restrained Introvert

There are both strengths and weaknesses to a restrained introvert. Let us look at some strengths first.

• You can easily spark conversations: Even though you avoid small talk, your ability to absorb and analyze information can easily let you find the interests of the individual you are talking with. This lets you strike up conversations quite easily.
• You are an expert at solving problems: Due to your ability to analyze, you can easily solve problems by tackling the brunt of them and planning a well-thought-out solution.
• Calm Presence: Your presence can promote thoughtful discussion and eliminates any awkwardness and tension.
• Accelerated personal growth: Because you spend time with yourself and introspect more, it accelerates your growing process and you mature quickly.
• Empathetic and Understanding: You are thoughtful and caring about other people’s problems and empathize with their situations.
• You know how to Relax: Due to the peace you crave, you know what you need to do to get it. It might be a good book or a comfortable TV Show or something productive.

Weaknesses of a Restrained Introvert

If there are strengths, there are bound to be weaknesses, that is the rule of nature. Let us see what the weaknesses are below.

• Risk of Overthinking and making up Fake Scenarios: Due to your creative brain, it is a likely scenario that you will end up overanalyzing something and unnecessarily overthink. It also hinders your ability to take action.
• Being Assertive: You will have problems saying No or being assertive during scenarios. It is perfectly normal for any introvert, you will have to practice to be assertive, however.
• Seeking out new Experiences and Opportunities: Because you know what gives you peace and comfort, you will have problems stepping out of that comfort zones and seeking out new experiences. It might be because of nervousness or feeling uneasy.
• Intense Loneliness: Because you have difficulty forming meaningful relationships, you might feel lonely at times. It is not impossible to overcome, just difficult.
• Difficulty with Small Talk: Small talk might seem bad but it is important in social scenarios. If you are a restrained introvert, you might have a hard time making small talk and even having casual conversations to some extent.
• Perceived Aloofness: This might lead to lots of misunderstanding as people will interpret your aloofness/reserved nature as disinterest.

How to Make the Most of Your Nature

Let me be clear, being a restrained introvert is not a bad thing by a long shot. There are worse things to be. But there are ways in which you can make the most of your nature and excel at it. Let us see how.

• Practice Self Compassion: You are only human. You cannot be perfect at all times. That is why, it is important to recognize that fact and forgive yourself for that but hope to do a little bit better, always.
• Don’t Force Yourself to Change: Forcing a change is the worst thing you can do for yourself. Don’t switch to an introvert if it doesn’t feel like it comes naturally.
• Prepare: If you are going to be a part of a social scenario, it is a good idea to prepare some topics that you would like to discuss at that event.
• Craft a go-to story: Make a story that describes you and is entertaining/ gives a clear idea of how you are as a person. This will not only boost your self-confidence but also give you a signature thing to use every time you meet someone new.

The Takeaway

Your restrained introversion does not forbid you from interacting socially at all. I think we have an upper edge because of our ability to analyze. What do you think makes restrained introverts so special? Share your thoughts with me below.

For more introvert based content and an analysis of multiple personality types, check out the Encyclopedia of Personalities page.